best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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