oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
