i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
