brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
