oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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