Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
