I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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