i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
