dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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