So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
