whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize