i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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