Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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