I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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