mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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