I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
