piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize