over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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