Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
