is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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