HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize