I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
