never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
