You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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