so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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