handjob tips. give me some.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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