when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
NoShamevember. You game?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
