So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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