Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
