Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
