Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
