so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
