Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
