Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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