my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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