so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
