i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
