Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
