i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
