i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize