Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
