If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
