cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
