uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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