Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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