did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
