Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
