So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
