Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
