Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
