Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Who did Billy Mays play for?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's rum buckets o'clock
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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