Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize