Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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