things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
