My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
