Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
