i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
bring money and cleavage
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
