I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
