so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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