escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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