now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
