Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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