i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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