I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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