Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize